Friday, November 19, 2010

Ivy Delves Into The World of Metaphysics





Can someone please tell me what this is? As far as I can tell, it is "black." Mike and I were going about our daily business and we kept finding a trail of slightly spongy/slightly crispy black chewings. Which led us to Ivy standing proudly by her pile of "black" looking as if she had just invented fire. It is absolutely unidentifiable and is limited to its very few visible characteristics. So evidently "black" is a Thing Great Danes Eat. I know, how very metaphysical. I believe the two questions striving to animate the metaphysical argument, i.e., 1) what is there? and 2) what is it like?, are definitively answered and satisfied by "black." Yes, that's Professor Ivy, if you please.

Things That Eat Great Danes

Evidently Great Danes are not as high up on the food chain as I once believed. Last week, while playing with her pals at the dog park and being just generally adorable and perfect, part of Ivy was turned into a light snack for an Akita. I don't have anything against Akitas as a breed in general, I just say this so that you, dear reader, can have a proper visual idea of what preyed upon my sweet girl. Ivy didn't make a sound when it happened, so when my friend Christine asked me how in the world Ivy had started bleeding spontaneously and I looked up and saw the Akita and his human running for the gate, I was befuddled. It was only after some friends told me that they had seen what had happened that I got a wee big angry at this display of degustationary gumption. Food chain, indeed.